


And I'm terrified

by spidermecc



Series: Elu oneshots [2]
Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Light Angst, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-15 21:46:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19304455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spidermecc/pseuds/spidermecc
Summary: Lucas knows that Eliott is head over heels for him because he feels the exact same way.But he also knows that they can never be together.Based off this sentence: "I think I'm in love with you, and I'm terrified".





	And I'm terrified

**“So,**  how are things with you and Eliott?” Yann asks, taking a sip of the beer he’s been nursing for a good fifteen minutes.

“What do you mean ‘how are things with Eliott’?” Lucas asks, scrolling mindlessly through Instagram on his phone.

“Come on” Yann nudges him “the poor boy has been trying to get you to go out with him for months now, why don’t you give him a break?”

Lucas exhales loudly as he puts his phone on the coffee table.

“Elliott and I are just friends”.

“Bro, come on, seriously?” Yann snorts, clearly not buying Lucas’ bullshit.

“Yeah seriously”

“You’re obviously into him as well, why don’t you cut the bullshit and just go out with him? The guys and I would also be grateful, if we could avoid watching you pine after each other forever”.

“Honestly Yann, I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I would really fucking appreciate it if you stopped bringing this up every time we’re alone” Lucas insists, running a hand through his hair.

“Look” Yann sits up straight, facing Lucas.

“I don’t know why you insist on doing this to yourself — and Eliott. But I do know this. That boy is so gone for you, and he’s not going to give up hope until you tell him straight up if you’re not interested. So, you either get your shit together or you let him move on, because this  _thing_  you’re doing isn’t fair to him”.

Lucas feels like the air just got punched out of his lungs.

He  _knows_  Yann is right. It’s not okay to string Eliott along.

The thing is, he doesn’t want Eliott to move on. He wants to have him by his side forever. He wants to be with him, touch him, feel him.  _Fuck he just wants Eliott._

But he can’t let Eliott know how he feels.

Either way, Lucas is fucked.

“And I promise I won’t mention it again, if you promise to talk to him” Yann adds.

“Okay, I’ll talk to him”

“That’s my boy” Yann exclaims, patting Lucas on the back “don’t worry, I’m sure whatever you decide will be for the best.  
___  
  
**Eliott:**  Hey, wanna grab something to eat after class?

Lucas can’t help but smile at his phone. Eliott knows Lucas never turns down a chance to eat.

**Lucas:** Do you even need to ask?

**Eliott:**  Not really, but you know I’m a gentleman, so…

**Lucas:**  Right. So the usual place at 4pm?

**Eliott:**  It’s a date ❤️

Lucas sighs as he puts his phone back in his backpack. He knows he needs to talk to Eliott. Preferably today.

Although Eliott has never actually voiced his feelings towards Lucas, Lucas  _knows_.

It’s in the way that Eliott instantly finds him in a crowd.   
It’s in the way that he brings Lucas his favorite food, when he knows he’s stressed with exams.   
It’s in the way that he always holds the door for Lucas.   
It’s in the way that he sends Lucas new songs almost every day, eager to know what he thinks.   
It’s in the way that he always lets Lucas pick the movie, never complaining, even though Lucas is pretty sure that Eliott is getting pretty sick of watching  _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_.

It’s in every single thing that Eliott does. But still, he’s never told Lucas how he feels. He’s never pushed Lucas for more. And that’s just the thing isn’t it?   
Eliott deserves  _more_ , he deserves the whole world if you ask Lucas. But Lucas can’t give that to him.  _Fuck,_  how he wishes he could, but he can’t. He can’t risk getting hurt again, he won’t survive it, not again.

When they arrive at their usual restaurant, they order without looking at the menu, there’s no point, they always order the same thing. There’s something strangely domestic about the way they instantly find their usual spot, order their usual, and lose themselves in conversation.

Eliott tells Lucas about his day, how boring math was, how he found a new dupsteb song that Lucas is  _going to love_ , how he’s missed Lucas, although they saw each other just yesterday.

Lucas just listens, not saying much. This could be the last time they do this. Eliott might not want to spend as much time with him  _after_.

But for now, he lets himself enjoy the moment.

“I hope you enjoyed your meals, gentlemen” the waiter says, directing his gaze at Eliott, as he hands him the check.   
  
Eliott scrambles for his credit card, already having convinced Lucas that it’s his turn to pay, although Lucas is pretty sure that he also paid last time.

Before the waiter hands over the receipt, he writes something on the back of it and hands it to Eliott with a wink.

“Call me” he says, as he turns on his heels.

Eliott rolls his eyes, and crumples the receipt in his hands, throwing in in his empty glass.

“Come on, let’s go Lulu”

When they get outside, they walk to the nearest park, strolling by the lake.

Lucas can’t help but ask

“Why did you do that?”

“Do what?” Eliott asks dumbfound.

_He looks so beautiful, he really deserves the world._    
   
“Why did you throw the guy’s number out? He was handsome” Lucas adds, trying to keep the sarcasm  from dripping, because the guy  _was_  pretty handsome, and Lucas knows for a fact that he’s Eliott’s type.

“I’m not interested” Eliott shrugs.

“Why not?”

He rubs his neck, exhaling loudly “because I’m interested in someone else Lulu”.

He doesn’t take his eyes off Lucas, his look steady and unwavering. But Lucas can tell, by the slight heaving of his chest, that he’s nervous.  

“Don’t”

It was meant to come out strong and determined. Instead it comes out barely a whisper.

“Why?” Eliott asks, taking a step forward, cupping Lucas’ cheeks in his hands.

“ _Please_ ” Lucas whispers. He can feel his resolve crumbling at Eliott’s touch.

“Why, Lucas?” he asks again, stroking Lucas’ cheek with his thumb, “please tell me, why?”

“Because— I think I’m in love with you, and it terrifies me”.

And there it is, in all its glory. He loves Eliott.

So much for keeping his feelings to himself.

Eliott’s hand trail down the length of Lucas’ arm.

“What are you afraid of?” he asks softly, voice dripping with uncertainty and concern.

“Because you’ll get tired of me, and you’ll leave” Lucas whispers.

His hands have somehow managed to snake their way around Eliott’s waist, clutching the taller boy’s t-shirt in his small fists.

“Everyone always leaves” he lets a single tear fall.

Eliott shakes his head, and wipes the tear away with his thumb.

“But I promise you Lucas. I will never leave. Leaving you would be like leaving a part of myself”.

Lucas can feel Eliott shaking, or maybe it’s himself, he’s not quite sure.

“Eliott I—“

“No Lucas, listen to me” he interrupts “I can’t promise you forever, because I don’t know what going to happen in a year from now, hell I don’t even know what’s going to happen a minute from now. But I can promise you this. I promise to love you as long as you’ll let me.  _Fuck,_  I’m so in love with you, you don’t even know”.

Lucas sighs and lets himself relax for a second, a smile forms on his lips, when he catches Eliott’s loving gaze.

And maybe he’s is still scared.

Maybe he’s not convinced he deserves this.

_Maybe, maybe, maybe._

It doesn’t really matter, because the way Eliott looks at him, is stronger than any of Lucas’ fears.

Maybe it’s time to be brave.


End file.
